This is an international study of Solitude.
Today is the very last day before I have to come back to reality for real. Not for fake like last time. I’m in Managua today with an afternoon flight tomorrow, broke, tired, and with a little bit of maybe dyssentary, or traveler’s diarrhea or something; i don’t know. It would be so cool to return to the U.S. with traveler’s diarrhea. Especially since between 1030pm when I arrive and four oclock the next day when I fly to Kansas for the big family reunion, I have to move all my boxes and crap out of Adam’s apartment across to Line’s in Coolidge Corner, down four flights of stairs and then up four flights of stairs (very narrow stairs). And then run to the airport with my huge backpack on the T cuz I can’t afford to take another cab.
God I’m poor. Anyways. Last I wrote I split off from amit and meg for a couple days and went to this maternal health center called Casa Materna in a town north of Managua, called Matagalpa. A beautifully cool town in the hills. Casa Materna is a house run by women in the area where pregnant women who are too young, too old, too poor come for a few days before or after they give birth and get pre/post natal care, healthy food, exercize, psycological consultation and a break from their work in the home. It is
mostly women from el campo, most of whom have lost a child or more already. It is totally free for them, run purely on donor support and the women only have to bring a little bit of food from their farm.
The first day I came I met with Dona Chilla, the midwife at the Casa and she showed me maternal massage and we sat and talked for a long while. I couldn’t understand much of what she said but I tried my best. I had a little Casita to stay in all to myself with a kitchen, bathroom, cable tv, and all, and cooked all my meals. It had been too long. The next day I got roped into leading 21 pregnant women in pre birth exercizes. Why on earth did they think I could do that?? I was just abandoned with lots of pregnant faces looking at me to coordinate an exercize program, so I came up with some stuff and we all had a good time. Then I spent the rest of the morning in consultation with the nurse, while each of the girls comes in and gets a checkup. They check blood pressure of momma and baby, pulse, talk about what pains/discharges they are having, and if they are new they do an ultrasound and check weight etc. I got to see some twins in the ultrasound. I learned so much even though half the time I couldn4t understand what the
nurse or the patient was saying. Learn by doing. They’ll probably cover all this stuff in Midwifery school so I’m not too worried. I watched a video about maternal health with them, and cut some watermelon, and helped make ice cream and tried to talk to some of the ladies for a while. There are two girls there that are there that are 16 and one that is 15 and they look 12. It was so weird to see their bellies full of a soon to be born child. It just seemed so unreal even though it is pretty normal.
The next morning, I rode in the Ambulance with a couple girls who were in labor. I can’t figure out what they feel about doin that with no husband, no family or friends around. They seemed uninterested and unphased by what was happening to them. People respond to the coming of a child so differently. While at the hospital, one of the ladies that came with us had an infected C Section scar. Sans anethesia, or pain killers, the doctor ripped open her stitches and expressed a brownish red liquid from the would, cleaned out the infection and packed it with guaze, meanwhile urging “Tranquilo mujer!” as she moaned quietly and pulled at her hair. She was hardly making a sound and he acted like she was throwing a fit. I started to get really queezy and lightheaded as I saw gauze strip after guaze strip being pulled out of the wound soaked in that liquid. It was the first time I’d ever seen the inside of a person before in real life. I got really dizzy and had to sit down, meanwhile the nurse was paying more attention to me than she was to the girl who was getting the work over. I really hope I am able to acclimate to this because I am gonna be one crappy midwife if I can’t look at blood and stuff without passing out cold. Overall the experience was excellent. I’d really love to return someday.
The last few days have been calm. I went to the island of Ometepe in Lake Nicaragua. It’s a big volcano floating in the Lake. Pretty sweet. Saw TONS of howler monkeys acting like I was filming them for the Discovery channel. I dont want to come home because I don’t want to have to start worrying about things, but I am really ready to see some family and try to start putting together the life that I wanted post IHP. I think I may be more ready to return this time. I’m not sure. I feel like this final entry is so much less emotional than the other. Maybe it’s the diarrhea. Maybe it is that I am tired and actually ready to sit still for a while. Even though that won’t happen because I’ll be in 4 different cities in the next 3 weeks. I’m not sure what I saw on this trip, or even what I did. I got to spend 8 weeks in a region that a year ago I could only dream about. I got to do it with two people that I love and respect. And most importantly, my experiences and observations here will inform everything I write and study from here on out. I have such an intimate context on which to draw for when I talk about this place now. Central America is a place of beauty and fear, and deception and simplicity, and the source of so many questions that I would kill to have answers for. From the edge of a lake, and a petroglyph in a jungle, and a chicken bus window, and the homes of those who helped us and from the hands of those that fed us, I saw a place that will fascinate and haunt me forever.
Until the next one,
Adios,
Amor,
Andie
1 - As stated
